not so crazy
Its a "crazy" time right now. Where the days are interlinked and swirl around. I try to keep track of them by marking down lists in my book, first school, second, food.. then maybe love. I'm caught between some "craziness" where life just seems to be happening. And I wish to close my eyes and propel myself into the future where I have a beautiful auburn desk and and tons of green in my pocket. So much that I could smell it.
My brain feels like gunck and I think I'm going to have to do some intense squeezing until I start feeling me again.
I'm starting over... from the time I stepped onto tucson ground up to now. I jumped into life here quick.
Falling into old ways I didn't realize what was happening to me. I guess I'm moving slower now. And a smile is creeping upon my lips.
"Out with the old, and in with the new"
We're on a break, at least until I know what I want in life and with me. No sense in trying to keep us afloat on some unstable ground. I guess you can say selfish.. but in order to breathe... I need to start thinking about me.
"Out with the old and in with the new"
A steady process.... got rid of Capoeira, for now... but haven't really brought in the new. My desire is Yoga and the coolest dance class in town. I'm going to look that up... I want a dance class so cool that when I close my eyes I can feel my soul smile. Yoga. That'll start next week.
As for my lion... I'm on a little vacation. And he's amazing enough to let me breathe for a while. I've been heated up for too long without a single thought of breaking to the water for a fresh breath. But I'm here now. I miss him like crazy and I've already called him twice today. I can hear the smile in his voice. And I'm thinking that for the first time... or at least I'm hoping, that he knows exactly how I feel without me having to print up a perfect outline.
No words. Nothing. Silence please. Let me think.. I feel like I'm emptying my suitcase now.. even though its been 4 months since I've arrived. This is a good thing.
I don't feel so crazy today.
Sunday, Oct. 28, 2007
10:47 p.m.
10:47 p.m.