swallow me up
Then you get some days like today where you feel like caked on bread batter. Sticky and old, letting off a slight yeasting smell. Its one of those peel myself out of bed days and get back into my world. Spent too many days talking back home. Losing myself in love words. And it all feels good for the moment until I realize I have another 6 months and shit changes. Where I don�t always want to hold onto the rope.
And I know what you mean about that whole missing, wanting, crying thing. I�d rather not fall into that, so far now I�ll do my best to forget. But that�s when the love gets all tied up in a curly knot. Where�s the way up and down and side to side then out?
How do I love you anymore when I forget?
Find my own world up in my own head and I�d rather remember and feel sliced in two, then just forget about you.
But, then there is the whole culture thing. I�ll take a sneak at your photo. I�m changing so quick, like numbers reading fast on the loto.
I like to sink in disney movies. The kiss from Bell and the Beast is the best I think. And that scene with Alladine and Jasmine on the magic carpet ride. Give me some love and I�d like to be touched. Night where I just want to fall into someone else... then wake up again and feel that thick like syrup feeling. Where I know I�ve got someone back home who loves me more than anything.
A love that stays and grows everyday. Sometimes I want to fall in it like the perfect bed.. then other times I want to run real fast, scared of lifes possiblities and I�d rather not get hurt, or hurt.
So here I go, back in this game. Where I perfect the switch to turn myself off and away from my world that once was me. Because it gets so deep, that pool I loved. Take a peak and I miss it like crazy. But then I run away before it swallows me up whole.
1:17 p.m.