what i'd like to say
6 hour day and hot in the sun.
Walk across the cement to meet you, wait on the ledge.
Watch your back as I follow you through swarms of people to your locker.
Walk back across the cement towards the parking lot. Stop and watch your back as you laugh and loolygag along the way with other people.
I stay quiet, wait for home and ice water.
"Hey, Ava, I could either wait at the school and catch the bus or go home and maybe you could give me a ride to work."
Hmmmmmmm
Search for an excuse... to save me time from driving in the 3:30 afternoon heat and traffic jams.
"I think I have detention today..."
then my guilt sets in, "how can I not give her a ride?"
"Well..... I could probably give you a ride."
Then left grumbling under my breath.
When really, I would like to say, "No. Just because I don't have an afterschool job like you that you LOVE so much, doesn't mean I have the time to dillydoll and drive you downtown. I don't want to give you a ride. Besides, when do you ever give me gas money?"
I boil like this inside, then realizing you can't hear me and if I want something I have to shout it.
But that's how it's always been with you and me. You know I don't want to, but sometimes it's impossible for me to say NO."
3:53 p.m.