newest
archives
me
notes
guestbook

FiRE
OthErSoNg
WriTing LiGht
des*gn
host
friendship so much like sisters

It is... the feeling of floating. Floating through days, crossing off each one as you pass by.
My heart screams to know that I can�t hug you. Touch you, be there for you.

After this, I always want to be there. By your window. Living near you. Best friends should always be close. Share family with you. Good food, good times.
I make myself happy by looking to the future as well.
And you are definitely in it.
Cry and kiss you, feel cleansed together. And, ``you don�t have to be the oppsite sex to be soul mates��. I�ll hold your hand forever.
Sink my toes in SandiBeaches and breathe a breath of fresh air here.
I know I am supposed to be here. And that feeling is good.

Your laugh is planted in my ears, and when did we realize we were going to be best friends. A feeling. You were a feeling and always have been.
A look, and everything is explained.
You�re my sister. always...
Really. I felt it when you first left. The way I thought about you. Felt for you. Missed you. Was happy for you, like a sister.

This distance. Its amazing. Making it more clear how I feel about the people I am close to.
I stepped out of the shower the other night. Looked in the mirror and was almost surprised. ``I love people��. I truley love people.
And I truely love you.
The words can still be scary sometimes. I can see why you�ve always been so hesitant to say them.
Those words hold a lot. It takes courage to say them.
To say ``I love you��. Carries so much.
It means, for me, to love for life.
To love you even if you were to take or steal from... Hurt me, or lie. All these things you wouldn�t do.
But let�s say if you went crazy or something... I would understand;).
Love is accepting the one you love for who they are. Really accepting.
So here it is, a marriage proposal of our souls... will you be my friend, my sister, forever?
---
Its not the same written. But hold on to these words. I will. Because when I see you, and you�re there next to me... I�ll ask you again.
---
This pool has been a place for me to explode my deepest feelings. Let them spill out and allow our waters to cleanse me.
---
Whatever you want. If you need me to call, tell me. I�ll call.
Its difficult, but I can still do it if I need to. If we need to. So just tell me.
Other then that its going to be another week or so. I don�t want to set a day until I�m actually sure. That hurts so much when your expecting something, and it never comes. Like a package, or a christmas present.
---
Today was good.. I was starting to say it earlier. But I think my new mom and I are going to be close. Its hard now, because her eldest left to France.
But underneath it all, I think we are meant for each other right now.
I play with my little sister every night.
I love it. She loves it. I�m glad to make my family smile. Then I know I�m giving something. I exercise with the twins and watch cartoons with them... easier to understand the Portuguese.
Its coming along. I am understanding more.
And every day my brain is watered and grows.

Movie tomorrow with a clan of girls from school. Some people still are really kind. They invite me along, knowing that they will have to slower their speach. They pick out American movies so that I will understand.
I forgot how it was, to have people that hardly know you be so kind. I keep on thinking, what did I do to deserve this?
--
I am dreaming of you always.


Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2006
11:37 a.m.
last ... next