stir me up
I love your words and it'll be okay.
That song... it brings tears to my eyes each time, and I constantly feel like the words are coming straight from you.
Things are okay now. I was just Krazy.
Talk about stirring up shit. I was hit by an eight ball and split in a thousand pieces. Not so extreme, just overloaded.
Down to the rainy fourth tonight I strode with new Brandy and Caitlyn dear. Got tea from Epic and ran to car. In the meantime bumping into "old" friends. Makes me want to cry... almost.
He was there, the Coyote in the rain with D and Soldier. I was stopped and like the worst flash back I could ever have took over me. Flash backs of the good times. And I was cut. Slashed on the face and stabbed in the heart all over again with a split second.
His hair cut, and clothes on from last year.
Like nothing ever happened... I was lost for a second and had to remind myself of what day and year it was.
Weird.
I hate it. How when you look at his eyes, your plagued with having to think about him for the next hour.
Get out of my head.
I wrote then, about those times that I thought set me free and later came to learn I was caged in bars of lies and not-tells. Hurt and still.
I've been in another world. And why did that one have to be so amazing? So. Amazing.
In code to him I spoke... until then. Eh?
What I HAVE NOW! Is now! Where's my poetry and flowery language this!? Nicknames, love words, and such beautifully painted images? Where? I have not said. Because, I left it for then. But the fun I'm having now... it's now, and it's fun... and I should enjoy. Make the best before...
Now, it's walking on the sidewalks watching the passerbys. Almost under a cloud, and where did it come from?
I have kisses under blankets, and brownies in the oven.
I have songs, guitar tunes, and late night 3ams. A positive heart and love for me... it's so real.
stuck... with thoughts.. and it's crazy how it all turned out...
Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004
9:56 p.m.
9:56 p.m.